"I Do"

OK, I was way off! (Samsonite!) While pondering how producers would leave us hanging for the next 12 weeks (!!!) many scenarios came to mind, and the one that I liked the most (concocted with help from my baby's daddy) went something like this:

(cue dramatic music) Pickett has Sawyer kneeling on the ground, gun pointed in his whiskered face. Kate stands by helplessly, restrained by some other Other. As Pickett cocks his gun, Sawyer, knowing the end is near, orders Kate to close her eyes, attempting to spare her the brutal image which is surely forthcoming. The scene fades to black, and we hear a gunshot, followed by Kate's incoherent scream just before "LOST" flashes eerily across the screen.

Personally, I think my ending was much better than the one the writers came up with. Think about it: with my ending, the possibilities are endless, a sort of "Who shot J.R.?" cliffhanger. (By the by, who did shoot J.R.? Dallas was a bit before my time...) Let's see... just to name a few... well, the most obvious, Pickett does, indeed, shoot Sawyer, or, ohh, even better, Pickett shoots Kate to avenge his beloved Colleen's death. Other possibilities include Sawyer somehow getting control of the gun and shooting Pickett, or heck, even Sayid and Locke bursting through the brush, guns blazing.

I should totally move two hours north and become a writer for LOST. I'd be so much better at it than these guys.

Anyway, since none of that stuff actually did happen, I suppose I should go ahead and address those events which actually did unfold. One of the questions that came out of Sawyer and Kate's game of Never Have I Ever ("Never have I ever, ever, EVER, never ever!" ... hee, hee, oh college) in Season 1's "Tabula Rasa" was finally answered. Recall from that episode that Sawyer's claim, "I've never been married" is something to which Kate lifts her glass (mini alcohol bottle). Flash forward to this season, and we find out that Kate, or rather, Monica, the alias she appears to be using, was married, to a Miami cop named Kevin (played by Nathan Fillion). OK, first issue: Why would you, if you were a fugitive from the law, marry a cop?! Second issue: WHY would you call up the marshal who was chasing you? Doy. Third issue: If Ka-- Monica was as in love with Kevin as much as she claimed to have been, why not just come clean, pay your penance, and, (for the love of Jack Shepard) STOP RUNNING?! Good grief, Charlie Brown! (hmm.... Charlie? Nah, I guess that name's already taken. Besides, wouldn't want to name my child after an annoying hobbit, anyway.) With that, we come back to the present, and Kate is yet again face with the fight-or-flight option, and the "fall season finale" (pssh) cliffhanger made it seem that she was (finally!) about to stop running and fight.

I don't buy it for a second.

Here's why: I don't think Kate is in love with Sawyer. I think she certainly has feelings for him (how else could you stand to have crazy jungle sex smelling the way you do?!) but I don't think she reciprocates Sawyer's love. (One thing I will give the writers credit for is Sawyer's love confession.... how heart-wrenchingly craptastic... "Well, I love you, too." OH, break my heart!) Kate doesn't even answer Sawyer's question: "When Blockhead was beating on me, you only said 'I love you' to get him to stop, right?" Um, holy unfeeling heartless wench, Batman! Hello?! A kiss is not an answer, and for the Skaters who seems to think so, wake up! If anything, that seemed to me to be more evasive than affirmative. Wench. Another thing: When Jack sets his scheme in motion, and gives Kate the opportunity to run, she says no, claiming, " I won't leave without you." At that point, she's talking to Jack. She won't leave without Jack.

Go ahead, argue with me on this one. Prove to me that Kate loves Sawyer. I'll fight you. Jate 4-eva.

Uh, p.s., Jack. It would be a really bad idea to actually let Benry die. Because then, Pickett would become even more PO'd, and I don't think Tom would be too happy, either. And Juliet's a wuss, she wouldn't be able to protect you. They'd probably just kill you after Benry flatlined anyway.

Johnny Locke's onto something. My spidey-sense tells me he'll be heading north.

Questions to ponder for the next 12 weeks:
1) Did The Others really kill Carl?
2) Is Alex really "one of them?"
3) How effective is a slingshot against semi-automatic loaded weapons?
4) Who is Patch-in-the-Hatch?
5) Will Jack actually grow the testicles to let Benry die? (Remember this is the same doctor guy who wouldn't even put the marshal out of his misery!)
6) When will Sawyer stop being everyone's punching bag?
7) Where the heck are Jin and Sun? How about Mrs. Klugh?
8) Why are Charlie and Claire still alive?
9) How will Desmond's powers prove to be either helpful or hurtful?
10) Who the heck are Nikki and Paulo, and why do we care about them?
11) How will the relationship between Jack and Juliet develop?
12) Will Kate run?
13) Why haven't J.J. Abrams and/or Carlton Cuse called to offer me a writing job yet? :(

Check back periodically over the next 3 months. I'll be posting any info I come across between midnight feeding and changing diapers.

See you in February!

P.S. Feed my ego, people! Leave comments! Let's discuss! :)