Further Instructions.... a.k.a. "...huh?!"

Let us begin with the question that is undoubtedly at the forefront of everyone's minds after viewing last night's episode, "Further Instructions:" "...huh?!"

Compared with the first two episodes of the season, this week's showing was weak. It might have been due to the fact that most of the blood in my brain is currently residing in my feet, resulting in swelling of mammoth proportions, but I felt like a good acid trip would have been helped me better understand just exactly what was going on. Although, on the other hand, in typical LOST fashion, they do throw you a curveball once in awhile: who saw crazy Johnny Locke being a weed farmer coming? Not me, that's fo shizzle. I did, however, get a weird, cult-like, Heaven's Gate vibe from the community in which we saw Locke living (apparently post-Daddy and post-Helen). Things just started getting strange after that. I was hoping that we would have found out how Locke ended up in a wheelchair, but again, no such luck. Anyway, I should start at the beginning...

So Johnny survived the hatch implosion (which, from what we saw, had that Marshmallow-Peep-In-The-Microwave-After-30-Seconds look to it)! Good for him! Admittedly, when the show opened, I myself had a sense of deja vu (just rewatch the opening of the pilot episode, and you'll know what I mean), and I half expected Vincent to come running out of the bush. Instead, we got Desmond running around in the buff. Which is almost the same thing. Anyway, after a game of Charades with Charlie, we learn that Locke wants to "speak to the Island," and we cut to the creepy music where LOST flashes on the screen. I think it was at this point where "...huh?!" first escaped my lips.

After the first (of many, I might add! Holy advertising!) commercial break, things started to get trippy. Cue Weird Herbal Concoction/Hallucination Paste, and cut to airport dream sequence featuring the dearly departed Boone pushing a once-again wheelchair ridden John Locke around, and our cast of characters playing different airport roles. After scaling to the top of an escalator, and discovering Eko's blood-covered Jesus Stick, Locke has found his purpose: rescue Eko from the polar bear that has dragged him hither and yon throughout the jungle. And this is where my second "...huh?!" occurred. First of all, just what exactly in that dream told Locke about the polar bear that has ahold of our pseudo-priest? I saw nothing about as frickin' polar bear! Was that just an educated guess?!

Locke's flashbacks proved to be just as perplexing. Posing as a farmer on some sort of communal ranch, we find out that Locke is actually aiding in the growing and/or distributing of some leafy goodness. His overall likeability on Weed Ranch is jeopardized when he picks up a hitchiker named Eddie, who is actually an undercover cop (really? they actually hire 15 year olds?!) OK, Riddle me this, Batman: If Eddie is an undercover cop, why were he and Locke pulled over? Just so as not to tip off Locke? And what cop on the face of the planet would just let someone with a pickup truck full of guns go? I was almost thrown in jail for having lip gloss in my purse on the way through security at the airport! Say it with me now, folks: "...huh?!"

So Locke, back on Mystery Island, armed with nothing but hairspray and determination, plunges into the deep unknown (in this case, a creepy cave) to save Mr. Eko from the jaws (literally) of death (or, polar bear, as the case my be). Lockey succeeds in sparing Eko from becoming a Lunchable, and he and Charlie bear (hehe.... get it? I tell you, I just crack myself up!) the unconscious Eko back to Survivor City, where the farmer-turned-hunter vows to find our trinity of captives over in Otherville.... after they find some bandaids.

.... Riiiiiiiiiiiight.

Pretty much a perplexing episode from opening to closing credits. I think, though, that perhaps the most "...huh?!" inducing moment was at the very end of the episode, which featured Hurley gazing at a rock-skipping Desmond, apparently having a very real sense of deja vu. Is it just me, or did that have absolutely nothing to do with anything?! "...Huh?!"

Next week's episode looks pretty intense. I'm not sure what I make of that, other than thinking that Sayid's words last week about only needing two captives (one to help control the other) might not bode well for one of the three currently residing in Otherville. We shall see...