Totally Unnecessary

All of it. Totally unnecessary. Totally.

"Expose" was good. Sort of. Oh, don't get me wrong. It had nothing to do with anything. At first, I thought it was semi-amusing to see some of the most memorable scenes from Nikki and/or Paulo's point of view, but then (like them) it just got annoying. I admit, I laughed when Boone ran up to Nikki asking for a pen. But when the camera panned over to Nikki standing behind Hurley during Jack's "Live Together, Die Alone" speech, it got annoying. That was the point where you could just tell the producers had pretty much just photoshopped the two of them into scenes to (maybe) prove the point that Nikki and Paulo were there all along. Weak.

OK, so apparently that black guy on Nikki's TV show is someone famous. (I'm told.) Not being a sci-fi geek like others I know, (*cough, cough, Ian, cough cough) that was lost on me. Get it? LOST on me. Ahem. Anyway. I don't know how/if/why that's important, but it needed to be mentioned.

Um, what else? Uh, Paulo's a jerk. I don't know, if I had overheard some people I didn't know plotting to kidnap some of the people I'd been hanging out on the beach with for awhile, I might, I don't know, SAY SOMETHING! But then I guess telling would have necessitated explaining why he was down in the Pearl in the first place? Creeeeeeep.

Speaking of creep, Nikki's a creep too. Hanging out with Artz, tossing her titties in people's faces, stealing paralysis-inducing spiders. (Stretch......) I guess the moral of Wednesday's story was... what? Don't be a creep? Don't steal diamonds from old geezers? (Who else threw up in their mouths when she started macking on Grandpa?) Nikki and Paulo should have read "Everything I Need to Know About Life, I Learned in Kindergarten." There are some helpful pointers in there about, you know, not killing people and stuff. Things that, if you followed their teachings, wouldn't end you up (end you up? proper grammar? maybe...) buried alive. Speaking of which....

Oh. Emm. Gee. That was even more Ohh Emm Gee than last week. But in a different Ohh Emm Gee kind of way. This was more of an Ohh Emm Gee That's Freakin' Sick, Dude! Ya know? Though I guess it serves them right. Also, on a final note, the moral of the story is: Don't piss off the audience. If they don't like you, will be killed off. (See: Ana Lucia). Also, don't drink and drive, kids, that, too, will end in your untimely demise on this show. (See: Ana Lucia, Libby, Mr. Eko.) Is anyone else seeing the pattern here: New people die. Take the hint, Misters Lindelof and Cuse: we don't like new people, stick with the ones you got (with the exception of a few blonde Australians and English Hobbits), and you'll do fine.

Anyway. Next week, Kate and Juliet will wrestle in the jungle (for Jack's heart? Mayyyybe). In the rain. Sort of a Island-Wet-T-shirt contest, I think. (I'm guessing LOST's ratings go up significantly in the 18-25 males category...) The name of the episode is "Left Behind" and is Kate centric. I'm sure I'll go into more detail next week, but is this title perhaps a clue? The Left Behind book series by That Guy Whose Name I Forget Right Now deals with a post-apocalyptic world, where those who were "left behind" (i.e., those not granted access to the pearly gates). Theorists, go!

Um, that's all for now, folks. Any thoughts?

Oh Emm Gee

Poor John Locke. That guy just can't seem to catch a break. I'm not gonna lie, though, although Wedneday's (is it really already MONDAY?! Ack! Many apologies for my tardiness) "The Man From Tennessee" was good, I think some of it was predictable. Not predictable in the way the whole Jack-and-Claire-are-siblings thing was predictable, but when things played out, I wasn't exactly speechless. Ya know? Like, as soon as John walked into his dad's apartment, they didn't exactly hide the fact that the apartment was not exactly on the ground level (exactly). Then the whole ending, with Anthony being there... yeah, ya had to know that was coming, too, especially after Benry's "the box is what you want it to be" crap. Which begs the question...

Is it real?! Is Anthony's presence on the island legit, or is this another one of those Jack's dad, Kate's horse type deals, where it seems to be merely a manifestation of some sort on the part of the character? Before we saw Anthony bound and gagged, two possibilities were going through the minds of those watching at my house: Daddy Dearest or the Monster. (I was right, as usual. I'm so smart.) Taking into consideration that it ended up being Anthony and not the Monster, are we to take that as John would rather either A) extract revenge on his father or B) forgive his father rather than know the answer to the island mystery? *shrugs.

Does anything I just said even make sense? Are you following? Just follow one thought to the next.

Ohh. Emm. Gee. Jack and Kate are the new Ross and Rachel. Good God in Heaven, just DO IT and quit tiptoeing around it! YOU LOVE EACH OTHER, JUST SAY IT!

Um, just for the record, I think Ben is full of shit. No one leaves that island. I think if Johnny Locke hadn't gone all Rambo on the submarine, Jack and Juliet would have just been killed. When he was trying to talk Locke out of blowing the sub up, Ben said something to the effect of wanting his people to still believe that they could leave. Liar liar pants on fire. That made me think about the frist episode of the season, the one where Juliet was all melancholy and despondent (thank you, thesaurus) and all up in arms about free will. While you can choose to leave the island, you're ultimately choosing death, no? Ever read the children's book, The Giver? It's about this "utopian" society where everyone is an equal, yada yada yada, people are given life jobs, e.g., Birthmother, Nurturer, Director of Recreation, etc., spouses are chosen for you, and children are given to you. If you don't fit into this society, you are "released," a.k.a. euthanized. I think there are a lot of parallels between that book and this whole "leaving the island" idea. Chew on that. Lemme know what you think.

I guess this week's episode is a Nikki and Paulo episode. No wonder I'm not excited to tune in. I have heard, however, that Boone and Shannon will be back this week, so I guess we can expect the lovers/siblings (ew) to be connected to the island-nobodies-who-just-showed-up-one-day. I also hear that Paulo will be shot in the head. Huh. Whatever.

Stupid Little Claire...

I tried really, really hard to dislike this episode, since it featured my least favorite character ever in the history of TV. (Sorry, I'm having a love affair with italics recently...) Be that as it may, my plan failed. "Par Avion" was good, dammit. And you know why it was good? Hmm? Because it showed both sides of the island!! I have been saying this for a few posts now, but I really think the show is better when it doesn't focus on one thing in particualr. Speaking of things I have already mentioned...

Oooh, Jack and Claire are half siblings! I never! Who saw that coming?! I never would've thought... oh, wait, wait.... sorry, my bad... yes, yes, I did see that coming. From like, a gabillion miles away. Is this the part where I say "I told you so?" Oh, ok then. I TOLD YOU SO.

Ahem. Sorry. I'll put the sarcasm away and save it for another day. (Yeah, right.)

OK, on to other things. What's going on with John Locke? First, he makes off with some C-4 from Patchy's house, then he's pushing people through sonic... pole... things... (yeah) that make people foam at the mouth and bleed from the ears. (P.S. Sorry, JLS, not seeing what you are, I'm pretty sure the dude's dead...) While we all expected Locke to use Patchy as a human testing device for the sonic... fence... thing... , who here can honestly say that they expected what happened to actually happen?! Not me, and I know everything. Personally, I think John was just pissed off that Patchy almost outed his secret about being paralyzed. Speaking of which, I'm still freakin' curious to know how The Others know all that stuff about our 815ers, and what the hell that "list" is all about. Patchy also seemed to refer to the mysterious "him" that Benry spoke about back in season 2. "The man who brought us all here is a genius..." (paraphrase). Um, was he referring to this guy, the one who brought Juliet to the island after her hubby was killed? (P.S. No, Chante, sorry, he's not the same doctor who was stitching Claire up after her little accidente.) Perhaps, but probably not. I believe we're looking for a guy named Jacob to fit that bill (as in "Shepard wasn't even on Jacob's list" uttered by Danny while Jack was performing Ben's surgery, and "God loves you as He loved Jacob" from Karl's brainwashing/rave room), and that guy's name was Richard Alpert. Like so many other unanswered questions, I think further speculation on this one will have to be saved for another day.

With the exception of the super highly predictable revelation from Claire's flashback, past tales of the blonde idiot yielded nothing further, other than her mom was in a coma from a car accident. The only question that raised to me was this: While being questioned by the cop, Claire stated that she was the one drving, and that the truck had forced them off the road. She even admitted the accident was her fault to her mother at the end. But riddle me this: When Claire woke up after the accident, she was in the passenger seat, and her mother had been ejected from the vehicle. And when Claire climbed out of the car to get to her mother, she climbed through the hole in the driver's side windshield, where we saw the front end of the car had been smashed in. That, to me, doens't add up with Claire's statement. If the car had been forced off the road, wouldn't the damge to the car either been on the side or the back of the vehicle? And if Claire was driving, how was she not thrown from the car through the gaping hole on the driver's side? Something just doesn't seem right there. I think we'll have to revisit that at a later time.

P.S. Who the heck is Christian Shepard?! I've never heard of a doctor advocating euthanasia, so his whole "there are other method's of relieving [Claire's mother's] pain." Um, what now? That seems odd, and suggests that we aren't quite done with Christian Shepard yet, either.

Finally, next week's "The Man from Tallahassee" will finally explain how Locke ended up in that freaking wheelhair. That, however, is not what has me on the edge of my seat. Do Jack and Kate finally get their moment?! Watch this, and you'll be with me. (Except MKO-G and other Jate haters.)

Looking for Trouble

First off, I think we should all agree here and now that John Locke should never be allowed to touch a computer ever again. Ever.

It may just be me, but I thought that Wednesday's "Enter 77" was rather predictable, to say the least. At least for those of us who were actually paying attention. Truly, who didn't see the big explosion coming as soon as we saw the C4 and Johhny Locke diddling on the computer? As soon as they showed the "previously on LOST" blurb, I knew Mrs. Klugh would be making a reappearance as well. (OK, granted, I didn't exactly see her getting shot and all, but hey, I don't pretend to know everything. Just almost everything.) Speaking of the devil, I thought that her death was pretty lame, since it now seems that the producers just brought her back to answer the whole burning "Where in God's green goodness is Klugh?" question. So now that she's dead, things don't look too bright in Patchy's future. Which leads me to my next point...

Rousseau is always right. We should listen to her more often. Or, for that matter, just once. The whole Henry Gale thing? She told you so. I laughed out loud when Rousseau turned on her heel and walked away into the jungle, saying that she has stayed alive by avoiding just this type of encounter. The inaudible though clearly understood "dumbasses!" didn't go unnoticed, as well. I know I've mentioned it before, but I think Kate has only set herself up to be the wrath of Rousseau's anger when it turns out that Alex isn't really the Alex we think she is (i.e., Danielle's daughter). Because if Alex truly is Ben's daughter, wouldn't Danielle have just kept him to herself and tried to find Alex that way instead of turning Benry over to Sayid and his torturous ways? We'll see...

For once in a long time, I think what has happening in present time was a lot more interesting than the backstory. Truthfully, we didn't find out a whole lot about Sayid this time around. The only thing that caught my attention is still a subject of debate between my husband and I: Even after rewinding multiple times, I still can't figure out what language Sayid's coworker was speaking when he came to tell him that someone was out front to see him. Ian maintains that he was speaking Arabic, but I'm still not sure he wasn't speaking French. (After all, they are in Paris, and the name of the restaurant was in French.) OK, so if he was speaking French, then rewind to season 1 and tell me why Sayid couldn't translate the distress signal and Shannon had to translate that and all of Danielle's notes on the maps Sayid recovered. I'm just saying...

Next week's teaser looks... well, I don't know. It could have that teaser potential to be a huge buildup and an even bigger letdown. It promises to reveal a connection between two survivors that will blow your mind.... uh, right. I'm not falling for it this time. I'm calling it now: "Par Avion" is a Claire-centric episode, and the big to do? She and Jack have the same father!!! GASP! Big honkin' deal. We knew that last season. Give me something new.

Tricia Tanaka is Dead

Dear Hurley,
Thanks, I needed that.
Love, Bree

Finally, LOST has returned to form! Does anyone else remember those episodes from season 1 (and a little bit of season 2) where you actually saw most, if not all, of the characters, and the episode had an overarching sense of unity? Yeah, it's hard for me to remember those, too, but last night's "Tricia..." was a return to all that is good in LOSTville. I think it could've been better if they had at least a little bit of Jack and that Other side of the island, but I'll take what I can get. (Shet yer mouf, MKO-G!)

So, to recap: last night was good. I laughed, I cried, I pondered. But, most of all, Hurley taught me to have hope (that the Hobbit dies).